my friend Pete literally makes me cry with his snap stories
this is me, i am pete, love me
we love you pete
|me:||i'll do it at 7PM|
|me:||oops too late gotta wait till 8 now|
i can’t believe people get so angry about a bisexual spider-man. whatever. have your shitty bi/homophobic opinions. you’re an asshole anyway. i just can’t believe you’re robbing everyone of all the glorious ‘swings both ways’ jokes
oh my god I’ve been waiting to make that joke for awhile but you beat me to it but it’s such a great joke I’m not even mad thank you dannyrandy someone else gets it
why do so many people think spiders are evil and out to get you
look at this fucking nerd run away in an overly dramatic cartoonish way just because something touched its butt
Hilarious, but still makes me want to vomit at the same time.
"I’m SO excited for this new musical I’ll never see but will probably memorize the Original Cast Recording, glue my face to the screen at the Tonys and maybe catch a bootleg or a national tour…"
every musical theater fan who doesn’t live near/in NYC or have tons of money lying around (via randompandemonium)
… and so sherlock and john never met. the end.
THE SHOW WOULD CONSIST OF JOHN LIMPING AROUND LONDON AT VARIOUS SPEEDS
“Who’d want me for a flatmate?” John asked, completely serious at the notion that anyone would actually want to room with him. He glanced at his old colleague when he heard him chuckling. “What?”
“Nothing, I just remembered a funny joke.” He said with a smile. It probably had something to do with two flatmates or something. John didn’t inquire.
“Oh.” He responded simply, returning his gaze to his cup of coffee. After a few minutes of silence, John looked up to ask Stamford a question but stopped when he saw a curious look on the man’s face. He almost seemed horrified. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Stamford stuttered. “It’s just…” He seemed to be trying to get a look at John’s back. “I just thought I saw something on your back.”
A couple days later, John saw something in the papers. It shouldn’t have bothered him, really, he didn’t even know this “Sherlock Holmes” character. He just couldn’t put his finger on why it made him so sad to find out that the so-called “consulting detective” had been victim to another one of those recent suicides.
NO NO NO
John pauses by a police box on his way to the store to get some milk. He smiled a little at the old timey appearance of it. “They just don’t make them like that anymore,” he said, a little wistfully. He jumped when the door flew open.
"You!" the man with the bow-tie snapped. John looked around in surprise but he was the only one around.
"M-me?" he asked, half pointing at himself.
"Yes, you. Don’t you know you jumped the tracks? You were supposed to be there to save that brilliant ridiculous idiot! But no, someone dipped their fingers in the time stream and messed everything all up. I will need to have a word with this person, but for now we need to get you back on track come on," the madman said, grabbing John by the arm and pulling him towards the box.
"Wow wow excuse me I don’t even know you!"
"Nor are you supposed to! But I can’t just let things go all willy-nilly topsie turvey here! Some one has got to save Sherlock Holmes and It might as well be us, eh?"
"I don’t know any Sherlock Holmes," John protested.
"Yes, and that might be the biggest crime here," the man said and finally succeeded in dragging John into the box.
"He killed himself, the papers said, and…oh my," John trailed off, looking around him in surprise. "It….it…."
"Yes, it is bigger on the inside I know. Come on, we’ve got a flatmate for you to meet!"
(in which Moriarty somehow got a hold of time travel tech and fucked everything up and the doctor is just the man to fix it)
"Hey Dean, the guy with the bow tie is back" said Sam. They had been sitting in the impala for what felt like days, just staring at the police box waiting for SOMETHING.
Dean had tried to kick the door down but the damn police box was sturdy.
After a few moments Dean responded “yeah ‘The Doctor’ right? But who’s that short angry lookin guy with him?”
"I’m not sure…" Said Sam "he’s nowhere in Dad’s journal and he doesn’t look familiar, so maybe he’s just a civilian?"
"Maybe" answered Dean warily "But I’m sure as he’ll not taking any chances. Let’s go find out who The Doctors new ‘patient’ is."
Sam looked at his brother obviously frustrated and said “Dean, how are we supposed to find out what’s going on if we can’t even get inside?!”
"I don’t know Sammy let’s go try knocking." Exiting the Impala dean slowly drew his demon knife and sauntered up to the big blue monstrosity if a police box.
"If kicking the damn door didn’t get him to open up, knocking sure won’t!" Yelled an exasperated Sam, just now exiting the impala.
After Sam arrived at the door he looked over at Dean and said “okay now what’s the REAL plan?” With a slight smile Dean raised his hand and gave three loud knocks *Bang* *Bang* *Bang* “FBI, OPEN UP!” Just as The words left Deans mouth, the door swung open.
"Ah so you are the Winchesters" chimed the man wearing a fez and… A bow tie? "Huh I hoped at least one of you would be ginger… Well regardless, come on in. We have work to do!"
SOMEONE MAKE MORE OF THIS
Dean glanced at Sam before making a gesture for him to go in. Sam walked in slowly, followed by Dean. Sam looked around startled “It’s big-” “Yes, it’s bigger on the inside glad we established that!” The Doctor cut him off rushing around. He walked over to the man with a cane and a very confused look on his face. “Winchesters this is John Watson, John Watson this is Sam and Dean Winchester.” Dean glanced at Sam before walking up to shake Johns hand. “I’m Dean and the tall guy is my little brother Sam.” he said with a smile. John gave a tense smile and a nod before turning back to The Doctor “What is the point of all this exactly?” He asked in a exasperated tone.
"The point? Ah yes the point" The Doctor muttered before clapping his hands together and turning to the group. "The point is we have to save Sherlock Holmes and the only person who can do it is you John Watson." He said pointing at John before going to the control panel. "So why are we here?" Sam asked, gesturing to himself and his brother "We don’t know a Sherlock Holmes and unless there are ghosts or demons or something like that we can’t do anything." "Oh but there are demons involved" The Doctor said excitedly "The person who fiddled with the timeline, Moriarty, He is possessed by some demon and is probably working with a whole lot more." The Doctor explained. With that he hit a few more buttons and a loud sound rang out, almost like the screeching of breaks. "Here we go!" The Doctor shouted excitedly. "What is this thing?" Dean asked in a curious voice. "This" The Doctor started while spinning "This is my TARDIS, it means time and relative dimensions in space." The Doctor finished with a smile on his face. "So a time machine?" John asked looking around. "Yes she is a time machine." The Doctor answered. "I would explain more, but it seems we have reached our destination." The Doctor said and began walking towards the group as the loud noise rang out again. "Ready to begin?" He asked with a smile.
I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of the HP fandom